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Lost in Red Tape

The VA in Sheridan calls today to find out it I want to go to my OB/GYN referral still. HMMM, wasn't that supposed to be scheduled over a month ago? Well, the clinic you picked is not in our list of authorized clinics. Oh great, I thought all of the places we want to go were now authorized because President Trump opened those doors. Well, apparently not.


I don't need that referral anyway. It's not THAT! OK, so now I'm curious, does the VA know I had surgery to remove tumors? They authorized it but they don't have any record. Great. Here we go. Time for me to connect the dots for everyone so we are on the same train. Yeah, that one at the end of the tunnel. Does anyone talk to anyone else anymore? The age of Facebook has created social distancing between agencies too? Sheridan VA wants to know if I can have this surgery at a VA Clinic. Ummmmmm, sure! What doctor has performed the neobladder surgery more than once in a row? Oh, I don't know if any have. Perfect! let me volunteer to be the first one so we can see if it works but if it doesn't, what is plan B?


Back to VA Cody...I need to talk to someone to make sure that the surgery authorization will be granted. OK, hang on. I talked to Scott, good nurse but he doesn't know how any of this works. Not his department. Somebody must know how this works right? Now I'm starting to wonder...


OK, now I know I should have called the VA to make sure they know what is going on but Urology clinic was doing that, Right? Nope. They did the surgery, knew I was a VA patient and that they had to get authorizations for everything so after the first surgery, they called the VA and told them I need some new pipes because mine were rusting out, right? Nope...Wonder how they thought I was going to get this surgery? Just go stand on the door step of USC with little tin cup and sing until I make enough money? Well, that plan sucks. People pay me not to sing.


I'm thinking maybe I can bring some spare parts and save some money. They used to use valves from pigs for heart surgery patients. I know how to slaughter a pig, make sausage, smoke bacon and pickle the feet. I have bargaining power. Maybe I can bring a spare urethra just in case. I could use the hams for partial payment. 2 sides of bacon should be worth and hour of cutting and pasting, right?


OK, so Monday, November 30, I have an appointment with the VA to get some authorizations lined up. Tuesday, December 1, I have an appointment with Urology and give them the phone number to the VA so they can communicate with each other. I'm taking their facebook away.

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